Having found myself home, after what could easily be termed an “atrocious” audition, I found myself seated infront of the computer, and fired with the urge to write. Perhaps if acting wasn’t my true calling – as this ill-fated audition now lead me to believe – then it was off the stage; out of the theatre; and actually onto the page wherein my talents lay.
Undoubtedly, this resulted from the resounding sense of rejection I felt vibrating through my being. I found myself, however, not wondering at the nature of rejection, but rather wondering at how very similar it’s always felt, despite its context. Dating, I drew the conclusion, could be considered another form of audition – one in which more often than not, “don’t call me, I’ll call you” reverberates to absolutely no ovation, just the slinking away of your self esteem as it tries to leave the auditorium with some form of dignity intact.
So, wherein does the hope lie? Audition after audition, we thespians force ourselves into the routine of learning the lines; attempting to pre-empt the director’s vision; forcing ourselves to believe with every fibre of our being that we ARE what the play needs! We are Desdemona, Juliet, and Hermia! We are the actress that you’ve been looking for, stop the search now! But if there were no rejections, then where would be the marvel in seeing the truly talented actress stand on that stage and do with the role, what our imaginations lead us to believe that we could do. If there were no rejections, then where would be the talent, where would be the stars who stand out from generation to generation and whose every whim leave us in tears, in laughter, and most importantly of all, in love.
The same applies with dating. If there were no rejections, then why wouldn’t we all just settle down with the first man to ask us on a date, and live happily ever after? Because it doesn’t happen that way. Not every actress is made for every role ever written for a woman. We all have strengths, weaknesses, and blocks, which hinder and guide our trajectory on the bumpy path to (what we all hope) fame. Love is just the same. You’ve heard it before, you have to kiss a few frogs before you can land yourself a prince. And whilst yes, it’s the rejections that seem to stand out a lot more – leaving you feeling as though you’re walking around with a giant neon sign, screaming “I WAS JUST REJECTED” for all the world to see. But it’s nothing like that. We fall, because we have to learn how to pick ourselves up again. And only we can set ourselves free to truly let our stars shine…
I believe Paulo Coelho said it best when he stated that: “God uses fire to teach us about water. He uses earth so that we can understand the value of air. He uses death to show us the importance of life.”