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Monthly Archives: February 2012

Find strength my friend… I know your heart is broken, and you’ve no will to mend it. But you have strength. You have it inside. You needed it to love at all, and to have loved so deeply that your heart is broken takes some of the greatest strength on Earth. We humans are not prone to easily giving away that which we have, least of all our hearts, hopes and dreams. To allow someone access to all that you are, and to give them the chance to be loved by you, took strength. So to mend, find strength, for you will need it over the next few weeks. The pain doesn’t last forever, although it seems it will. The tears, they dry. The lack of sleep will pass, too. And one day, and I promise this, one day it won’t hurt anymore. Speaking simplistically, pain is our body’s way of letting go, and whilst in the depth of it, it is unbearable – but you will survive. The best advice I was ever given, when in the depths of a broken heart, was this: focus on the small things. Allow yourself time, and focus on the small things; the simple things. At first, just getting out of bed is feat seemingly unconquerable. But each time you do so, do so with pride and a head held high. The broken heart within you dissolved your very bones and took from you every bit of strength and will you had. But you got up, today. And it wasn’t that bad. Then take two steps without falling back into the bed from which you just freed yourself, and congratulate yourself. A literal step when hurting, is as good as a metaphorical one, because in the end, we always wind up moving forward, though we may not know what it is we move towards. Then push for three steps, and then four, until one day you’re walking for miles without a single thought to it; each step a tiny testimony to the bravery with which you’ve faced the odds. The same happens with breathing. From the moment your heart is broken, focus on breathing. In and out. In and out. It’s seemingly the most simple thing we can accomplish as human beings, yet when your heart is broken, even this most simple of physiological functions can become impaired. So breathe. Allow yourself to focus on your breaths, even though they’re choked at times with tear and anger and pain from deep within. I know this pain, the one that holds you. It starts at your toes and curls its way around every organ in your body, sitting in your stomach like a pit of lava and clutching at your throat so that words, and breath, seem caught within you. But you’re still breathing. Despite the pain, you’re alive. And it’s this to which you need to cling. Accomplish these seemingly tiny victories without pain, and they’ll become the footholds of stability on your path towards recovery. I know it seems impossible now, but one day the same will happen with loving. Do not rush into it. Allow yourself to grieve. You have lost greatly, and all great losses require great lengths of time for recovery. But you WILL recover. And one day, just as easily as you learnt to walk and breath without pain, you will love without pain, too. And when you look back on all of this, and the person who put you into this painful place, take a moment and thank them, for showing you just how strong you can truly be. For survival of a broken heart is a skill we are not taught, until we’re in the depths of it. Send your past lover gratitude and well wishes, and let them go. Allow them to drift into your past once more, as you take those steps forward, breathing deeply, and moving ever closer towards love.

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