Archive

Cape Town

Meet him one night, at a bar, at a friend’s house, through your sister. Hit it off. Find the stories of the adventures he’s been on riveting, and find yourself excited at the prospect of a new-found friendship. Think nothing more of it than an opportunity to go on a new adventure or two yourself, and resolve to say “yes” to every opportunity this new-found friend brings.
Go surfing. Climb mountains. Drink too much too often. And always, always have excellent war stories from the night before, as the two of you reminisce amidst fits of laughter over what he said/she said, he did/she did scenarios. Call each other nicknames that have no real meaning, and playfully wrestle when a disagreement over whose ordering the take out arises. Bake weed cookies, and stay up all night watching horror films. Share a bed, but never think that anything might happen because you’re “just friends”.
Go out drinking, another night out, to any one of the usual places. Order the usual first round before the night dissolves into the usual myriad of shooters and bad decisions. Notice there’s something different, but don’t figure out what it is. Until…
Share a kiss on the dance floor. Let the sound of the music fade away in the background. Don’t think any romantic thoughts, it won’t click straight away that he was someone you could fall for. Instead, find yourself trying to gage his kissing skills, and wondering if your breath smells. Pull out, just to make sure you’re kissing who you think you’re kissing, and then just throw caution to the wind, and continue. He’s not that bad a kisser anyway…
Uh. Oh.
Find yourself driving two days later, running errands which don’t really require the command of your full attention. As you drive, find your thoughts drifting to that night you first kissed. Smile. Stop smiling. Find it odd that you smiled in the first place. Shake your head and write it off to nothing more than the appreciation of a good friend, but find yourself wondering if it’ll happen again…
Let it happen again. And again. Now when he sleeps over, find your bodies pulled together so that you lie side-by-side spooning, a magnetic force between you that means you’re never more than 10 centimetres apart. Kiss for hours, slowly building up the anticipation each time, until neither of you can take it anymore. Have sex. Briefly hear a tiny voice in your head asking you what the hell you think you’re doing, before the touch of his tongue to your neck pulls you back into the moment and over the edge of reason. Lie together afterwards, awkward yet comfortable. Hold hands as you do so. Fall asleep spooning.
Wake up and replay the night before in your mind. Crack open your eyelids to find him sleeping still beside you. Let your hands wonder over his body, bringing him to consciousness and arousal simultaneously. Have sex again. Lazily this time. With as much passion as the night before, without the will or need to rush. Grab a shower afterwards and come out to a cup of coffee and a kiss awaiting you. Say goodbye, and part ways.
Chat to him now and again over the next week. Find yourself blinking twice whenever he uses the word “dude” in a message to you. Think nothing of it. Wait to see him again. Do so, at a bar with friends. Try not to feel confused when nothing is different. Note the lack of something… Something special when he talks to, or looks at, you. Be just another face in the crowd around the table. Push your feelings deep down inside.
Bide your time. Every now and then, find him back at your place after a night out and one too many drinks. Have sex again. Ignore the voice in your head begging to know what’s going on. Resolve not to be that girl. Swear you’ll just go with the flow. Don’t acknowledge the silent horror of your skipped heart beat when he jokes about being “friends with benefits”. Fail to see any benefits, beyond the half-an-hour to an hour you share in your bed, during which you can fool yourself that he sees you as someone beautiful; as someone worth loving; as someone full stop.
Never get the answers to the questions that race through your heart and mind. Let go of the exciting potential promised by the first kiss. Resign yourself to the notion that you are “just friends”. But never let the flame go out; that flame that dares to unhinge the cool, calm and collected image you’ve worked so hard to construct… That flame that urges you to wonder if he’ll ever like you, ever love you, never leave you. That flame that burns you every single time you dare to let it glow a little brighter.
That burning, fiery flame.
Advertisements

I believe that the people of the world are divided by one thing, and one thing only. And this divider is not race, or socio-economic status, as most of you would believe. Oh no. The people of the world fall into two groups. The first group consists of happy-go-lucky morning people who can’t wait to launch themselves into the day as soon as their eyes open. And the second group consists of people who struggle to formulate full words let alone sentences before noon, and will very readily stab you should you even look in their general direction with the hint of a smile on your face. I, am fortunate enough, to fall into the first group. However, for those of you who can’t function unless you have a mainline of caffeine every morning, here are some tips should you ever wish to make the transition to the brighter side of the waking up!

In an ideal world, our morning ritual of awakening wouldn’t mean we’d have to get to the office with a workload from Hell – a tortuous task often perpetuated by the tendency for this work load to be quite notably more large on Mondays (the day of the week I’m convinced that the world will end, should it ever do so). However, since the world in which we live is far from ideal, you have two options to make the most of this daily phenomenon called work. On one hand, you could go bat sh!t crazy and blow up the building, thus ensuring your staying in bed a few hours longer is the least of your boss’s troubles. Or you could ensure that the work you do, is the work you want to do. I know it sounds like a cliche, but you have one life to live. So, why would you spend it doing anything other than that which makes you happy? Especially when it comes to something you’ll be doing everyday for what may be a large portion of your time on Earth? As a wise old Greek man once told me, “do what you love. The money may follow, the money may not. If you’re happy, you’re already rich beyond measure.” Happiness is priceless.

See the face you want to see when you open your eyes. It may sound somewhat insubstantial, but waking up to someone every morning can have a wonderful effect on your mood – so long as it’s not someone whose name you can’t remember. That’s a little bit awkward. Should the person you’re waking up to be the same person with whom you share a crazy, wild, wonderful love – well, what else could you ask for? If you’re lucky enough to be able to do this, it makes sense that you’ll find waking up a lot more pleasurable when it’s waking up to someone you can’t wait to wake up to. Wake up to the person who makes you happy. It’s truly that simple. I promise.

I’m ashamed to say it – mostly because it represents a move towards adulthood *shudder* – but exercise in the morning can actually make my day! I never thought I’d ever be a morning exercise person, but low and behold, when I wasn’t looking, it happened. Living in Cape Town meant a daily early morning run along the promenade – a daily ritual that I actually looked forward to! (I know, you may as well put me into an old age home and just leave me there.) It’s not all bad news, however. Not only do you feel better because of the endorphins pulsing through your blood stream, but you’ll perform better whilst doing the actual exercise. Honest! Now, wipe that horrified look off your face, and go for a run already. Sheesh.

If all else fails, just accept that there’s little else to be done. I’d recommend waking up to a sea view with a breakfast buffet awaiting you, and several smalls midgets to tend to your every whim as you slowly go through the motions of feeling better about being awake… But I’d also be giving you false hope. Maybe these little things won’t help transform you into less of a monster before midday, but maybe that’s okay. As long as morning people and non-morning people alike give one another warning, there’s no reason we need lose anymore individuals to the deathly wrath of flying knives and coffee cups. At least, I hope there isn’t.
For now, I’ll just go on being a bouncy, happy morning person… outside… by myself…. where there’s nothing you can beat me to a pulp with… I hope!